I am sorry but cauliflower is off the menu

A series of extreme weather events

Have drastically reduced our harvest

We are sorry for any inconvenience

We know this is likely to cause disappointment

And possibly civil unrest

We know you are a good person

You came here on public transport

And chose the vegetarian option

We suggest that all you really can do

Is go home, curl up, and cry

Or join Extinction Rebellion

And fight

For your right

To eat cauliflower